I Dream of Hermione
by Joyce Renee
Summary: Future Fic. Six years after Graduation, Voldemort is finally defeated. The surviors are trying to rebuild their lives and Severus is determined to find Hermione.*Complete 3/2/02*
1. Prologue

Ok, I have added and moved some stuff around, so I'm happier with it. I love reading Severus/Hermione fics, and the idea for this one came to me last night at 4am. I haven't written anything in months, and this is my first HP fic, so please keep that in mind.  Also, this has not been beta read.  If anyone is interested in being my beta for this story, please e-mail me @ joycerenee@springmail.com.

Warning: Multiple character deaths, but never fear, I am the happy-ending queen!

Rating: R, just to be safe

Pairings: This story will mainly focus on Severus/Hermione. But there will also be, Harry/Ginny, Remus/Sirius (nothing graphic, mostly implied) Fred/OFC, George/OFC, Percy/Penelope, Bill/OFC, and Charlie/OFC. Whew! J

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea.

I Dream of ….Hermione?

I. Prologue: Dark Times

*Back Ground Info

*It's been six years since Harry, Ron, and Hermione graduated from Hogwarts.  Ron and Harry are both aurors for the Ministry of Magic. Hermione is a potions/chemical specialist heading the Muggle-Wizard Co-ops team in research.  She teaches potions at Hogwarts in Snape's absence.  Arthur Weasley has been Minister of Magic for the past three years, since Fudge was found to be under Voldemort's control. Professor Snape disappeared in the middle of Harry's fifth year.  He has been rumored to be held in Azkaban, along with Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Charlie and Bill Weasley, and Hagrid.  Azkaban is currently controlled by Voldemort; the dementors are his most loyal servants.

*Harry, Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, Ginny, Arthur, Percy, Molly, and Dumbledore have infiltrated Azkaban for a final showdown. Lord Voldemort is finally defeated. He and his followers are banished to a hellish dimension they can never leave thanks to a spell cast by Dumbledore, Hermione, Arthur, and Harry.

*Our story begins just after the infamous spell has been cast, and the players are slowly emerging from the rubble that was once Azkaban.    

            Twenty-four year old Harry Potter flew over the smoldering ruins of Azkaban in a daze.  His trusty Firebolt 6000 automatically swerving out of the way of the billowing smoke and bursts of flame that spouted from below.  

            They had done it.  Voldemort was gone for good this time, but at no small price.

            The lifeless eyes of Albus Dumbledore suddenly flashed through his mind.  Harry gave his head a hard shake, trying to focus on the task at hand.  There would be plenty of time to grieve later.

            Steeling himself against the thick smoke that stung his eyes, and filled his lungs, Harry descended into the ruins to help the survivors.

            Severus Snape groaned in pain as he pushed a fallen beam off his barely conscious cell mates.  His left arm was twisted at an odd angle, but he was pleasantly surprised to see that the mark that had tainted not only his skin, but his soul, had completely disappeared.

            Remus and Sirius gave him odd looks when he grinned and waved his broken arm in front of them.                                                  

            Severus didn't care.  He was feeling hope for the first time in nine years, and it felt great.  He was momentarily distracted by a figure swooping down toward them.

            "James?" Severus croaked before giving in to the blissful blackness that held no pain.

            "He's not in his right mind, Harry." Remus explained as Harry flew all three of them to safety.

            "He hasn't been since we got here."

            While Severus had spent the last nine years in Azkaban, Remus and Sirius had only been there a matter of weeks.

            "I speak from experience when I say that it will take a little while for him to adjust to reality." Said Sirius, shuddering.

            Harry put them down a safe distance away.

            "I'll be back." Was all Harry said before flying back out into the darkness.

            When Severus awoke, he was surprised to see all the injured people around him.  Some he recognized, others he didn't.

            James was coming back, and he was carrying an unconscious woman.  Lily?  No, no!  That wasn't right!  James and Lily Potter were dead.  That man was Harry.

            "Same difference." He muttered to himself.

            Harry dropped to the ground beside Severus.  He quickly set Hermione down next to him.

            "Watch her! I'm going back for Ginny." Harry said to him before leaving again.

            Severus scowled at Harry's retreating back.  

            A small groan made him look down at his companion.

            He had expected to see a bushy-headed little girl, not a beautiful, silky-haired, curvy, woman.

            She opened her large brown eyes and stared up at him.

            "Professor Snape?" she asked.

            "Hermione?"

            But she had fallen back asleep.  Severus scooped the sleeping woman up and cradled her in his lap.  He rocked back and forth humming quietly as his mind tried to catch up with everything else.

            The man with light blonde hair and a dark purpose, apparated a few feet away from his goal.  His eyes were panicked as they searched for her. 

            He spotted her in the old potion master's embrace.

            "I'll take it from here, Severus." Said a cold voice from behind him.

            "Lucius?"


	2. Chapter One : A Forgotten Friend

A/N: Big thank-you's to everyone who reviewed! I'm so glad people are enjoying it, and I hope you guys will stick around!

Chapter One: A Forgotten Friend 

            One week later…

            "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust…"

            Not an eye was dry at the memorial service. 

            "Even the sky is crying." Ginny had commented earlier.

            Harry tightened his arm around Ginny as they dropped roses onto Ron's grave.  He sneaked a glance at Snape, and suddenly felt guilty for the way he had treated the man.

            When Harry had returned with Ginny, Hermione was gone.  Snape was just muttering under his breath about how Lucius Malfoy had appeared and taken her away.  This was crazy, as Mr. Malfoy had been dead for two months. Harry had lost control over his anger, and had begun to loudly blame Snape for everything.

            Now, Snape honestly couldn't remember what had happened.  However, one look at his exhausted, grief-stricken, face told Harry that, whatever had happened, it was obvious that Severus was not at fault.

            Harry broke his gaze away and looked at the large plaque that held the names of those they had lost.  He remembered each face as he read each name:  Albus Dumbledore, Arabella Figg, Viktor Krum, Dean Thomas, Susan Bones, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger.

            When he reached Hermione's name, Harry had to stop.  The tears blurred his vision, and he bit his fist to keep from crying out.

            Harry felt a hand clamp down on his shoulder, and looked up into the face of Arthur Weasley. 

            "I'm proud of you, son." He whispered, "And so is Albus."

            Harry was spared a response when Severus suddenly darted away into the surrounding trees.

            "I'll get him." Harry said, and hurried to follow.

            "Professor?" Harry panted as he ran.

              
            "What are you…Ohh!!" Harry tripped over the man, who had stopped and crouched on the ground.

            Severus was holding tight to a large ginger cat with a bushy tail.

            "Crookshanks!" Harry whispered in awe.

            He hadn't seen the cat since before the final battle with Voldemort.

            "Hermione's cat."  Severus said, gripping him tighter.

            Harry sighed and sat down next to them.

            "Professor, I apologize for accusing you earlier. I know it wasn't your fault…..."                                    

            Severus cut him off with a glare, and then turned to study the cat in his arms.

            "I thought that you were James at first."

            Crookshanks had curled up in Severus' lap trying to comfort him with soft purrs.

            "You dropped Hermione beside me, and took off again.  A lot changes in nine years, she was no exception." He sighed, wistfully.

            Harry cleared his throat before saying, "Yes, she was very beautiful."

            "Was?"

            Severus snapped his eyes back open.

            "We've searched everywhere. If she was alive, we'd have found her by now."  Harry couldn't look Snape in the eye as he said this.

            "I swear to you, Potter, I saw Lucius Malfoy that night. He took Hermione from me, and Disapparated, I think." He groaned and put in his head in his hands.

            "It's time to let go, Professor."

            Neither said a word for a while after that.

            Harry was the first to break the companionable silence.

            "I, uh, wanted to talk to you about something, Professor."

            Severus looked curiously at the bright blush that seemed to take over Harry's entire face.

            "Well, out with it Potter!"  His tone was biting like always, but there was a slightly amused look on his face that let Harry know that he was kidding.

            "Uh, Sir, Ginny and I have been engaged for the past couple of years."

            This didn't surprise Severus in the least as he had seen the rather large rock Ginny wore on her left hand.

            Harry continued, "We decided to wait until Voldemort was defeated before we got married."

            "Sensible." Severus nodded as he stroked the cat.

            "Now, there's nothing stopping us. We have house about 50 miles north of Hogsmeade. I live there by myself now. Anyway, Ginny and I will be on our Honeymoon for the rest of the summer, and I was hoping you could house sit for us."

            Severus opened his mouth to respond, but Harry cut him off.

            "I know you don't want to stay with Sirius and Remus at their place forever, and my house will be quiet, and private…"

            "I'd be glad to house sit for you, Potter. It would be nice to be left alone for a while. That way I could catch up with the rest of the world." Severus gave him a sad smile.

            "Are you going to teach again?"  Harry asked.

            "I don't know. Perhaps, if Minerva …"

            "Professor McGonagal is retired, Sir." Harry said, looking away again.

            "Retired, then who will be running the school with Albus gone?"

            "Dumbledore was actually training his replacements before he …. you know." Harry just couldn't say it yet.

            "Replacements?" Severus raised a brow.

            "Fred and George Weasley." Harry stated, seriously.

            A moment of dead silence passed.

            Then came the laughter.

            "You have got to be kidding me! The Weasley twins in charge of Hogwarts? What is this world coming to?!" Severus said, wiping a tear from his eye.

            "Dumbledore said something about it being a fitting punishment for all the mischief they caused." Harry responded.

            "He always had his reasons, Dumbledore did."

            "And what will become of you?" Severus asked the now sleeping cat in his arms.

            Harry looked at it thoughtfully for moment.                    

            "I think that Hermione would have wanted you to take care of him." Harry said, finally.

            "Me?"

            "Yeah, she took it pretty hard when you disappeared. I'm not sure why, but she was very upset."

            By now, the sun was beginning to set.

            "We should be going." Harry said, standing up.

            Severus nodded and followed suit.

            As he followed Harry back to the memorial site, Severus could almost hear Albus' voice ringing through the trees, "One day at a time, Severus. One day at a time."


	3. Chapter Two : Mi Casa Es Su Casa

A/N: Thanks again to the reviewers! I'm really glad that you guys like it.  

Chapter Two: Me Casa, Es Su Casa

            "Welcome to 'Casa de Potter'!" Harry said as he let Severus in the front door.

            Severus couldn't help but be impressed.  On the outside, the Potter Home looked like your average, middle-class, two-story house.  However, the inside looked magnificent.

            Severus could count four floors as he looked up from the entrance hall.  A beautiful glass chandelier sparkled down on the spotless oak floors. He set the squirming Crookshanks down, who darted off up the staircase.

            "Well?" Harry asked, expectantly.

            "I would expect nothing less from you, Potter" 

            This seemed to please Harry, who couldn't stop his grin.

            "Let me give you the tour!"

            "This will be your room…." Harry pushed open a door on the fourth floor.

            "Until you return?" Snape asked as he looked around the rather large room.

            It was tastefully decorated in dark green and silver. It had a connecting bathroom, a huge four-poster stood in the center, an oak book case on one side, and a set of French doors opening to a balcony that over looked the Olympic-sized swimming pool on the other.

            "..For as long as you need it." Harry's voice snapped him out of his daze.

            "What did you say?" Severus asked.

            "You will always have a room in my house, Severus. That's why I have so many." Harry said, not making eye-contact.

            "Thank you, Harry. That really means a lot to me."

            Severus continued his inspection and noticed a door on the other side of the book case.

            "That door connects this room to the one next to it." Harry explained when he saw Severus looking at it.

            "Whose..?"

            "It was Hermione's." Harry pushed the door open.

            The room was very similar to Severus', only with Hermione's personal touch.  The room was filled with her belongings.  It even smelled like her.

            "I keep expecting to see her walking out of the bathroom." Harry admitted.

            "She and several others were living here before…" Harry broke off and looked away. 

            Severus realized that several others meant Ron, and Albus had rooms that held reminders of them in this house as well.

            Harry cleared his throat.

            "The house-elves should have dinner ready by now." 

            Severus took one last look around Hermione's room before following Harry back down to the kitchen.

            After dinner, Severus and Harry were relaxing in the parlor.  Dobby served them drinks as they played a game of chess in front of the fire. Severus had been letting his mind wander as Harry prattled on about Ginny and the wedding.

            "I know it's soon, but Ginny insists on our wedding date being June 16th, and there is no way we're waiting another year. Do you think it's insensitive? To have a wedding this soon after…"

            "No. I think a wedding is exactly what everybody needs right now. It's time to remember what we still have, and move on with our lives." Severus replied, then stood up and stretched.

            "Goodnight. And Potter?"

            "Yes, Sir?"

            "Thank you."

            "Hermione, NO!" Severus yelled as he sat up in bed.

            Shaking, and drenched in sweat, he made his way to the bathroom.  He splashed water on his face muttering, "It was just a nightmare." under his breath.

            He walked back into the room, determined to try to get more sleep.

            "What are you…" he asked the cat who was frantically pawing at the shut door. 

            The door that led to Hermione's room.

              
  



	4. Chapter Three : In Your Words

Chapter Three: In Your Words

            Severus flipped on the light as he walked into Hermione's room and flopped on the bed.  Crookshanks curled up next to him, glad to be back in his own bed.

            Putting one hand under a pillow, Severus pulled out a small notebook.  He opened it to find pages covered in feminine handwriting.  It was her diary!

            He couldn't read it; that would be wrong!  But maybe, if Hermione was alive, the diary might hold a clue as to her whereabouts.

            At two in the morning it was the best excuse he was going to come up with.  He made himself comfortable, and began to read.

_Dear Diary,_

_            I can't believe this is happening to me! I got a letter delivered by an owl today that said I'm a witch, and have been accepted to Hogwarts: School of Witchcraft and Wizardry__! I can't wait to read all about it in the new books my parents bought me…_

            "Yes, how exciting you're a witch!" Severus said, sarcastically.

            He skipped a few entries, and started reading again.

            _I met Harry Potter today on the train!_

            "I'm not even going to dignify that one with a comment." Severus told Crookshanks, who looked perturbed at being kept awake.

            "Aha! Here she talks about me!"

            _Professor Snape is the one teacher that I just can't figure out how to please. I've tried everything! I've practically got the whole potions' text memorized, but he's just unimpressed! Diary, I've come to the conclusion that that man has problems, and I should just give up! Well, maybe if I started memorizing next year's text. I bet Fred or George would loan me theirs…_

            "A girl after my own heart." Severus admitted to the cat with a smile.

            "If only she had been in Slytherin… No, that would have ruined her. Oh, well."

            Severus shrugged and skipped ahead further.

_Viktor Krum is so different than what I had imagined. He is quite intelligent, and very charming. I told him that I would go to the Yule Ball with him; I really hope that Ron and Harry don't get angry. No, scratch that! I don't care if they get angry or not! They shouldn't have waited this long to ask me!_

            Severus felt a twinge of jealousy as he remembered the night of the ball.  Hermione had looked so beautiful on the arm of that big lug.

            Crookshanks hissed at him and walked to the foot of the bed, turning his back on Severus.

            "Well, I am a man after all… And I'm defending myself to a cat!"

            He shook his head and skipped ahead to the week before he disappeared.

                        _Dear Diary,_

_The strangest thing happened to me today. I'm so confused; I've never felt like this before. I went to Professor Snape's class today and he sneered at Neville and praised Draco like normal. But while everyone was busy making their clarity potions, I saw him glance at Harry. It only lasted a second, but that one look was so full of concern, fear, pride, hope, and maybe even something else… It just suddenly occurred to me that Professor Snape was on our side. Probably the only one who is actually out there fighting this battle that everyone is denying exists! I also notice that he looked tired. I wish I could do something to help him. But I can't do or say anything that might give him away. _

_So I didn't try to defend myself when he blamed me for helping Neville. I didn't say a word as he deducted twenty points from Gryffindor. He could've taken four hundred points, and I still would have been okay with it. Today I have realized that there are more important things than house points, and an unfair teacher. There is a bigger battle being fought, and it's time I grew up and started contributing to the causes that really do matter._

_After potions class was over, I stayed behind to talk to Snape. I had to do something to encourage him, let him know that he wasn't alone in this. I don't know if it worked. He said something about there being an odd side effect from the clarity potions, but I think I got through to him. _

_I gave Harry and Ron each a hug and kiss on the cheek before bed tonight. They both blushed and hurried off to bed, but I know they care about me as much as I do them. I think they were both pleased by my actions. _

            Severus wiped at the tears trailing down his cheeks. He remembered that day as if it had been yesterday….

            "Professor?"

            Severus looked up from the pile of papers on the desk in annoyance. He'd thought all the students had left.

            "What is it, Granger?" he growled.

            Hermione walked over to his desk and gave him a look that seemed to penetrate to his very soul.

            "I just wanted to say thank you." She said, simply.

            "Whatever for?" Snape asked suspiciously.

            "For doing what you're doing. I wish more than anything that I could do something to help you out. But all I can do is tell you, that you are appreciated. I can't even begin to imagine the things you must be dealing with. I just want to say thank you. For dealing with them."

            Severus set his quill down and looked at her.

            "Miss Granger, I…"

            Hermione suddenly through her arms around him and kissed his temple.

            Severus just stared at her in complete shock as she stepped away and began collecting her things to leave.

            "The clarity potion! This is some strange new side effect. You drank some, didn't you!" he demanded.

            "Think what you have to, Severus."

            And then she left.

            If only she had known just how much that small show of affection had helped him!  During the next nine years, when Azkaban was becoming too much, when he felt himself slipping away, he'd focus on being in her warm embrace.

            The dementors couldn't take away that memory because it didn't make him happy. On the contrary, it terrified him, because it had awoken a part of him that he believed was dead. A part of him that he could not have survived the coming years without.

            _Professor Snape has been caught! I was so worried something like this would happen. The Headmaster told us this morning that Severus wouldn't be returning for the rest of the term. It was all I could do to walk back to Gryffindor tower._

_            Harry, Ron, and Ginny followed me, unable to understand what had upset me so._

_            Once the portrait closed behind us, the sobs came. I cried for two hours while Ginny held me, and Ron and Harry hovered protectively over us._

_            Ron asked me why I was so upset, it was just Snape, after all. Ginny had answered him for me. She said something about this meaning that the war really had begun. Snape was first, but who would be next._

_            I think it was the first time I had ever seen Ron truly speechless. _

_            Later this evening, as Ginny and I went to bed I thanked her for saying what she did and apologized for losing control. She said she understood. Then she said something that absolutely floored me! It's truth cutting to my heart. She said, "Love makes us do very unusual things."_

_            I've spent the last two hours telling myself that she was wrong, mentally listing all the things that I did not love about Professor Snape. And then I realized that I would give anything to have him back here, safe and sound. It's true. I'm in love with Severus Snape. I only hope we both live long enough for me to tell him.             _

              
  


                        __


	5. Chapter Four: The Burrow

Chapter 4: The Burrow

            The following day found Severus at The Burrow.  A flurry of activity was going on around him as last minute preparations for Ginny and Harry's wedding were made.  He could barely pay attention though, as he was still reeling from his late night/early morning discovery.  

            Hermione Granger had loved him.

            After reading that line, he'd put the diary down.  There were several more pages to go, but he wanted to wait until he could read them alone.  He couldn't help but think that once he was finished with it, Hermione would be gone forever.

            Harry shot him a concerned look from his place beside Ginny on the sofa.  

            He sent Harry what he hoped was a reassuring look.  It was time to think of something else before he started crying in front of everyone.

            Severus turned his attention to all of the people around him.  So much had changed in nine years. 

            Bill, Charlie, Percy, Fred, and George were all married.  The oldest two each had a son, and Percy's wife, Penelope, would be bringing their first child into the world any day now.  

            He could feel a smile tug at his lips as he watched Bill's son, Andrew, put bunny ears on his Uncle Fred as they posed for Arthur and his muggle camera.  Suddenly, he realized that everything that he went through, every horrifying experience he'd had to endure was worth it.  These kids would grow up never having to fear the return of Voldemort. He'd do it over again if he had to.  If only Hermione…..

            No, he wouldn't go there, not now.

            Severus was grateful when Remus came and sat next to him.  That feeling quickly vanished, however, when he noticed the photo album in his hands.

            He spent the next hour desperately trying not to let the waving, smiling faces of Hermione and Albus affect him.  He barely heard Lupin as he tried to explain each picture.  

            Severus gave a sigh of relief as he closed his bedroom door behind him.  This had to have been the emotionally hardest day he'd had to endure yet.  Tomorrow was the wedding, and then he'd be alone, and free to grieve.

            He started to pick up Hermione's diary, then changed his mind and grabbed a sleeping potion instead.  He could wait one more day. 

            Harry Potter lay awake in bed, unable to sleep because of the bundle of nerves in his stomach.  Tomorrow was the day he and Ginny would marry.  He thought of Ron and Hermione and how much he wished they could be here to share it with him.  

            Snape was right, it was time to remember what they still had, and not dwell on what they'd lost.  Ron and Hermione wouldn't want them to.

            Harry leaped to his feet as the bedroom door suddenly burst open.  A wild-eyed Snape rushed in to the room, his hair sticking up in every direction.

            "What is it?!" Harry demanded, concerned by the anxiety he saw on the other man's face.

            "It was Draco! I thought it was Lucius, but now I know it had to have been Draco Malfoy that took Hermione from me that night!" 

            Harry sighed, and shook his head.

            "Sit down, Professor. It's time I told you about Draco and Hermione."

            Severus sat down on the edge of the bed, facing Harry who had climbed back in.  He had a feeling that he wasn't going to like what Harry was about to tell him.

            "After you disappeared, Hermione was anxious to find you. At first I just thought she was scared of something happening to one of us, but near the end, her quest to find you was bordering on obsessive. She'd forget to eat, barely slept, and her grades went from excellent to very good. Ginny was convinced that Hermione had fallen in love with you, and tried to convince her to let you go.  That if you weren't dead, you were in Azkaban, and that you wouldn't want her to do what she was doing."

            Harry paused, trying to decide the best way to tell him the rest.

            "We all thought it worked. She started acting more like her old self, and then something else changed. She started trying to make herself look prettier.  She'd wake up hours before breakfast so that she could slick down her hair, put on make-up, and stuff.  She started spending a lot of time with Lavender and Parvati, letting them make her over.  We all believed that this was just her way of moving on. 

            Then she started dating Draco Malfoy. I think she was just trying to get information about Voldemort out of him, but it backfired. You see, he fell in love with her, completely. He turned his back on his father and started spending more and more time hanging with us. As we got older, he would volunteer to do riskier and riskier things. He ended up killing his own mother and father. Shortly after that, he left. Said that he wanted to go somewhere no one would know him, and he could start over. Hermione wouldn't go with him, and that broke his heart. But he loved her, Professor. There is no way he would have hurt her."

            Severus didn't look convinced.

            "But why didn't he…."

            "Severus! You've got to let this go! Hermione is dead. You keep this up; you're going to end up in St. Mungo's!" Harry said, wincing at the harshness of his own words.

            Severus looked down, trying to think up a good argument.  When he met Harry's eyes again, Severus was fighting back tears.

            "Something inside is telling me that she's still out there, Harry, waiting for me to find her."

            He got up to leave the room.  He had almost reached the door when Harry said, 

"Hermione once told me the same thing about you." 


	6. Chapter Five: A Plan Gone Wrong

Chapter Five: A Plan Gone Wrong

            "Are you sure you'll be okay all alone in that big empty house, Severus?" Molly Weasley asked him as he said his goodbyes.

            Ginny and Harry's wedding had gone off without a hitch.  A lovely ceremony and reception filled with kind faces made it easy to forget the horror of the past.  While Severus had to admit that it was nice to see everyone so happy, he himself was not a people person. The thought of the solitude that awaited him the rest of the summer was very enticing.  He must not let Molly ruin it!

            "Yes, Molly, I'll be fine." 

            It was actually easier to convince her than he thought it would be.  All he had to do was agree to come to dinner at the Burrow once a week.  At least this would guarantee him a little social interaction.  As much as he despised all of the attention, it did feel good to know that someone cared.  And he wouldn't have to worry about anyone coming by to 'check-up' on him.

            Crookshanks watched his new master intently as the man poured himself a drink, and settled himself into a chair in the study.  The cat jumped up on the arm rest and laid his burden in the man's lap.

            Severus absently petted that cat as he stared at the diary in his lap.  He'd been putting off reading it after hearing Harry's account of Hermione and Draco's relationship.  Apparently, Hermione's cat had other ideas.

            "Okay, cat, I guess now's as good a time as any."

            He took a deep swallow of his brandy, and flipped the worn pages 'til he reached his spot.

            _Dear Diary, _

_                        I'm sick, again.  And I'm getting a little worried.  Ever since Severus disappeared I've done nothing but research spells in the library that might help him.  I keep forgetting to eat, sleep is a rarity, and Ron had to actually tell me that I smelled bad to get me to bathe!  My grades are falling, and I'm so frustrated that I just want to cry.  But every time I even consider giving up, I just remember how I felt when I realized that I was in love with him.  All my doubts vanished._

            "Oh, Hermione! You silly stupid girl! How could you let yourself go like that? And for me? It's preposterous!" Severus moaned, running a hand through his greasy hair.

            _Dear Diary, _

_            I have been such a fool!  If you could see me, you'd be disgusted!  Ginny sat me down today and made me realize how stupid I've been about all of this.  As if some spell is going to make everything better again.  Poor Ginny thinks that she's talked me out of my quest, when, in fact, she just gave me a new way to go about it.  Tomorrow, I will go to Lavender and Parvati.  They've been itching to do a makeover on me for the past 2 years.  I'm going to need help if I'm going to do this right.  I can't help but worry that I'm getting in over my head.  Starting Monday, I will be attempting to seduce Draco Malfoy. He and he alone can lead me straight to Voldemort. I'll keep you posted on my progress._

            "I think that warrants a refill, don't you?" Severus asked Crookshanks as he got up to do just that. 

            He looked at the empty glass in his hand and the half-full bottle of brandy on the table.  Sighing heavily he grabbed the bottle and went back to his chair.

            _I will have to start getting up much earlier, if I want to look like this every day.  I swear it's like I'm a new person.  I walked into the Great Hall, and heads turned!  That's never happened to me before, and I do enjoy the extra attention.  However, all of the excitement faded when I saw the empty spot at the teacher's table.  It reminded me of my plan, and so I looked over to the Slytherin table.  My eyes locked with Draco Malfoy's for almost a solid minute.  Then the weirdest thing happened. He blushed, and nearly ran from the room!  A part of me feels very guilty, not to mention queasy, at the thought of what I have planned to do.  But I bet that it's nothing compared to what Severus is dealing with, so I swallow my pride, and pray that I'm I good enough actor to pull this off._

            Severus shook his head.  A very dangerous game this young girl had been playing.  

            _Dear Diary, _

_            It's been a few weeks since I first caught Draco's eye.  Now, I'm running into him everywhere!  He brushes against me in the halls, and I can feel his eyes on me during the entire classes we have together.  It's a little frightening, how well my plan has worked out.  Deep down, I never believed Draco would fall for me.  At least, I thought it would take a lot longer, anyway.  _

_            He wants to meet me tonight at __midnight__, in the __Astronomy__Tower__.  He sent me a note by owl post this morning.  I know this can only mean one thing, and I guess the question is whether or not I can actually go through with it.  I'm only sixteen, am I strong enough to give myself to him?  Yes.  I just have to keep remembering the ultimate goal.  I will just have to think of Severus while in Draco's arms.  _

            The desire to keep reading fought with the desire to burn the diary and never have to suffer the torment its pages held for him. In the end, it was his aching heart that made him start reading again.  If she had had to go through this alone, the least he could do was know, and share the burden of that knowledge.

            _Dear Diary, _

_            I am in total and utter shock!  I'm more confused than I've ever been in my entire life!  I guess I'd better start at the beginning.  I met Draco as planned, ready to do whatever was necessary to finish my plan.  But Draco didn't want sex.  He didn't even want to kiss me.  He sat me down, and told me that he knew exactly what I was doing.  Trying to seduce him to get at Voldemort.  He said he knew that I wasn't really interested in him, but that he had fallen in love with me.  Draco said he didn't want anything to do with Voldemort, and would do everything he could to help us in our fight.  He has a meeting with Dumbledore tomorrow morning, and will tell him everything he knows about Voldemort and the Death Eaters.  He said he was determined to make me fall in love with him, no matter how long it took, or what he had to do.  Then he kissed my hand, and said goodnight._

_            I wasn't counting on this!  Draco Malfoy wants to be one of the good guys!  He loves me!  Doesn't he realize that I can never love him back?  I never thought that my plan could go so wrong._

            

A/N: 1.) Thanks so much for all of the wonder reviews! You guys are great! 

        2.) I try to post as often as I possibly can, but I only have access once or twice a week.  I promise I will try to write as fast as I can, but sometimes, my postings will only be weekly.

        Thanks,

            Joyce Renee

joycerenee@springmail.com


	7. Chapter Six: Kisses

A/N: Ok, here are a couple of more diary entries.  I know this is kind of short.  But I'm planning on getting out 2 more chapters tonight, as it will be another week before I will get to write more.  Thanks so much for the lovely feedback! You guys are so great!  Just so you know, this story does not have an ending yet, I make it up as I go along, so any ideas or tips that you'd like to share would be greatly appreciated! You can reach me at joycerenee@springmail.com  Ok, enough rambling! Enjoy!

 Chapter Six: Kisses

            "Never trust a Malfoy."  Severus said out loud, although the only one who heard him was Crookshanks.  

The cat nodded his head in agreement, or maybe it was just the brandy.  Severus was much more relaxed now that he knew Hermione hadn't given up her innocence on his behalf.  However the realization that she had been prepared to go to such lengths made his stomach do flip flops. 

            Letting out an irritable sigh, Severus continued reading.

_                        Dear Diary,_

_Professor Dumbledore, Draco, and Harry all met today to discuss their situation.  I would have given anything to be a fly on the wall during that meeting, but Harry did tell me everything afterwards. _

_Harry believes that Draco is serious about joining our side.  The two of them made a pact today that will last until we graduate, and Draco is old enough to formally turn away from his father's wishes.        _

_Every once in a while, we will all stage some kind of scene, and Draco will continue to make his nasty comments.  Harry swears that he and Draco have put everything behind them, and we don't have to worry about him anymore.  I am a little skeptical, but Ron is completely unconvinced._

            "Weasley is right."

            Silence.

            "I cannot believe I just said that. Don't you dare tell anyone!" Severus threatened the cat.

Crookshanks just yawned in his face, clearly unimpressed.

                                    _Dear Diary,_

_So much has happened today!  Remember when I said that Ron was unconvinced about Draco?  Well, he is now.  And so am I._

_I was in the library after lunch, for once just staring out the window.  I saw Pansy Parkinson walking toward Ginny who was feeding the squid.  I thought they were both crazy for being outside in the freezing cold weather.  Then they started struggling.  I watched helplessly as Pansy stunned Ginny, and pushed her into the lake.  I ran down the stairs and out the door as fast as I could.  I got there just in time to see Draco diving in after her.  As Pansy watched Draco in shock, I turned my wand on her.  She was petrified in an instant._

_Draco pulled Ginny out, and carried her to Hagrid's cabin.  Fortunately, the Gamekeeper had been sent out on an errand today, so it was empty.  I made us tea while Draco conjured a fire, and used a drying charm on Ginny, then himself.  After making sure that Ginny was okay, he told us it would be best not to tell everyone what had happened.  Harry, Ron, and Dumbledore were the only ones that needed to know._

_I told him he was wrong and that Pansy should be expelled for what she did.  He reminded me that as long as Pansy was here, we could watch her.  Once she left Hogwarts, there was no telling what would happen to her.  He thought there was a chance that she might realize the error of her ways like he had.  I didn't like it, but I went along with it.  Especially since Harry had agreed with him when he found out later._

_Draco said he'd take care of Pansy by using the obliviate charm.  She wouldn't remember what had happened, and we need to keep that in mind whenever we have any future confrontations with her.  As he turned to go, I told him to wait.  And then I kissed him.  Full on the lips!  I'm still surprised at my own nerve.  This doesn't mean I'm in love with him!  It just seemed appropriate at the time.  He gave me the first genuine smile I had ever seen him give.  After today, I can honestly call Draco Malfoy my friend.  However, as I lay here writing about this kiss, I can't help but think of another kiss I gave.  It seems like a hundred years ago!  Are you still alive, Severus?  Should I wait for you?_

_                                                            _


	8. Chapter Seven: Vows

A/N: I know I said 2 more chapters tonight, but I'm cutting it back to one, and saving the other for tomorrow. Hope you like it! 

Chapter Seven: Vows

            "Oh, Hermione!" Severus groaned as he reread the entry. 

            He looked over at Crookshanks, who stopped cleaning himself to return Severus' stare.

            "I don't want her to wait, but does it have to be Malfoy?"

            When he didn't get an answer, Severus went back to reading.

            A couple of hours later, Severus was approaching the entries of Hermione's graduation.  He wanted to have been there, so badly!  Nothing very significant had happened since Draco had saved Ginny's life.  He and Hermione had had a lot of fun pretend fighting in public, then kissing in a closet.  More than once they had gotten detention together, and had enjoyed every minute of it.

            While Severus couldn't help but feel jealous over Hermione's affection toward Draco, it did make him feel better to know that she had been happy during her final years at Hogwarts.  

            All that was about to change, as he soon found out…

            _Dear Diary,_

_Draco proposed to me tonight!  After our last dinner at Hogwarts, while everyone was reluctantly heading toward the dorms, he pulled me into the library.  The one place no one would be.  He dropped to one knee and produced a very large diamond ring.  I just stared at him in shock for a full minute.  Then, I accepted. _

_It is time I let go of the past.  Professor Snape would not want me to put my life on hold for him.  It will be years, if ever, before we are finally able to take down Voldemort.  I will help in every way I possibly can, but I will do it as Mrs. Draco Malfoy. _

_Tomorrow, I will be going with him to his parent's home.  He will tell them of our engagement, and turn his back on the Death Eaters.  I am scared to death, but I cannot let him face them alone.  As soon as we are done there, we will go to my parent's house. _

_I owled them about our situation, and was very relieved by their reply.  They simply said that any friend of mine would be welcome in their home for as long as they needed.  I really was blessed by having such wonderful parents.  I will be sure to tell them that. _

            Again Severus was torn between his jealousy over Malfoy and Hermione's happiness.

            As he turned the page, he gasped in distress.  The next entry was covered in tearstains, and shaky handwriting.  This couldn't be good.

                        _Diary, _

_I'm shedding my last tears over Draco Malfoy right now.  These last two days have been the hardest of my life.  Allow me to explain._

_Draco and my visit with his parents could not have gone worse.  They were absolutely livid at the thought of their only son marrying a mudblood.  Draco was wonderful as he stood up to them, and defended me.  He declared that he was old enough to do as he wished, and if they truly loved him, they would let him._

_After that, there was a whole bunch of screaming, and then I found myself under the Cruciatus curse.  I remember immediately thinking of Severus, and how many times he must have had to endure this.  It made the pain a little more bearable.  Just a little.  ___

_When the pain stopped, Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy lay dead at Draco's feet._

_I had to use the enervate charm on him three times as Draco packed up everything he owned.  When we finally made it home, I rushed Draco past my parents, and tucked him in my bed. _

_Then I went and cried in my mother's arms as I told my parents everything.  _

_After my parents went to bed, I could hear Draco crying in my room.  I went in and held him all night long, as he slipped in and out of consciousness._

_The next morning was horrible.  When I awoke he had already had his shower, and was almost ready to leave._

_He couldn't stay here; the authorities would be after him soon.  I tried to convince him that it would be okay, I would tell Fudge that he had acted in my defense.  He then informed me that Fudge was under Voldemort's control.  Next thing I knew he was pleading with me to come with him.  He owned some property in __America__.  __Atlanta__, __Georgia__ to be exact.  An aunt he'd never met had left it to him.  We could go there, change our names, no one would know us!  Starting over and leaving all this evil mess far behind us.  It was so tempting!  But he knew what I'd say before I even said it.  I'm needed here.  The fight with Voldemort wouldn't go away just because we did.  I couldn't live with myself if I just left._

_He got angry and accused me of pinning after Professor Snape.  I told him that he was wrong.  It wasn't about me at all.  It was about standing beside your friends and fighting for what was right._

_He gave me a weak smile and pulled me into his arms for the last time.  He swore that when this was all over, he would find me.  He would make me realize how much I loved him.  Then he was gone._

_Now that Draco is no longer in the picture, I can focus all my time and efforts into what really matters to us all.  I now feel guilty about wanting to leave Albus, Harry, and the others to fight without me.  I have accepted the offer to teach Potions at Hogwarts, but only until Professor Snape returns.  In the mean time, I'll be doing my best to ensure that he does return._

            Crookshanks' yellow eyes followed Severus as he darted in and out view.  Finally the man stopped and sat down at a desk with a piece of parchment and a quill in hand.  He chewed thoughtfully on the end for a moment, and then hurriedly scribbled a note.

                        _Dear Molly, _

_I know you are expecting me for dinner tomorrow night, but something has come up.  I must travel to the __United States__ tonight, to help a friend.  Please accept my apologies, and I promise to contact you the moment I return._

_                        Sincerely, _

_                        Severus Snape_

            "Hedwig?!" Severus called as he ran through the house.

            He tried a few more times, and got no answer.

            "Hedwig, I know you don't like me, but it's imperative that I get a message to the Weasleys!"

            "I must have said the right thing." He mused as the snowy white owl swooped into view.

            He was almost finished packing, when Hedwig returned carrying a letter and a large bundle.

            _Severus, _

_Here is some food to take with you on your trip.  Be careful! And please don't hesitate to owl should you need anything!_

_                        -Molly_

_P.S. I hope you find her._

            After Severus had dashed out the door, Dobby and Winky, who were staying at the Potter's now that Dumbledore had died, crept curiously into the sitting room where Hermione's diary set open to the very last entry on the floor.

            Dobby quickly snatched it up.

            "Dobby, you gives that to Winky this instant!" Winky demanded holding out her hand.

            "No! Dobby wants to know what it says! Dobby don't care if it's not his business!" Dobby protested.

            "Dobby can't read! Winky can!" she told him smugly and he finally handed it over.

                        _It all comes down to tonight.  I'll find you, Professor Snape, or die trying!_

            Miles away Severus stepped off the apparating platform in Atlanta, Georgia. 

            "I'll find you, Hermione Granger, or I'll die trying!" He declared, oblivious to the odd looks he received as he stalked out into the night.


	9. Chapter Eight: Sadie

A/N: First off, my most humble apologies for the delay.  These past 2 weeks have been rather hellish, and unfortunately I cannot have writing as my number one priority. On a happier note, the reviews have been wonderfully encouraging and I'm very grateful for them.

The next few chapters will be from Hermione's perspective. (So, yes, she is alive!) Enjoy!

Chapter Eight: Sadie

            Hermione sighed in contentment as she sipped the cool lemonade from her glass.  The shade of a Magnolia tree kept her out of reach of the hot Georgia sun as it mercilessly scorched the extensive gardens of her home.  A slight breeze made the outdoors bearable, and allowed her to escape the empty mansion behind her. 

            It was a quiet town that she lived in.  Nalley, Georgia was on very few maps, as it was entirely a wizarding town.  Draco was always comparing it to a village in England called Hogsmeade.  He'd told Hermione that she herself had been quite found of it.  But this was something Hermione wouldn't know.  Her dreaded secret.

            Hermione had awoken almost a month ago, with no memory of who she was, or were she had come from.  Draco had been very patient with her, explaining that he was her fiancé, and that this mansion, he'd named Sadie, was now their home.  Her first thought was how silly it was to name a house, and had told him as much.  

            The story of how they had come to live in a small Georgia town had been very unpleasant.  Apparently they had been involved in some war with an evil and very powerful wizard.  They'd won, but family and friends had died, and Hermione had begged him to take her away from it all.  

            Hermione believed him, why wouldn't she?  However, she desperately wanted to remember these things for herself.  Or did she?  Many hours had been spent in her humongous library, trying to unlock the secret of her amnesia.  She hadn't told Draco of her quest to determine the truth for herself.  He'd found her there, last night, surrounded by psychology books, tears streaming down her cheeks.  After reading all of the information, she had come to the conclusion that whatever had happened must have been absolutely horrible for her to block it out so well.  

            After comforting her, and putting her in her own bed, as Draco was a gentleman and they were not yet married, Hermione had decided that it was time to let go of whatever past her mind was clinging onto.  Draco obviously loved her very much, and it couldn't be that hard to love him as she had before, right?  

            At breakfast this morning she had told him that she was ready to get married.  He'd been extremely happy with her, and they'd decided that one month from now would suffice as the wedding date.

            Hermione sighed happily and turned back to the bridal magazine that she'd brought with her.   

            "Missy Mya?" Jennie called out as she ran toward Hermione.

            Jennie was the house-elf that had taken care of Hermione as she adjusted to her new life.  The poor elf couldn't pronounce Hermione's long name, so the nickname Mya had had to do.  

            Hermione watched Jennie running on her stubby legs, her face lit up with excitement.  Draco had commented on how out spoken and disrespectful these American house-elves were, but Hermione found them rather amusing, especially during the lonely week-days.

            "Goodness, Jennie! What ever could be so important?" Hermione teased.

            Jennie sniffed, pretending to look insulted.

            "Well, Missy! I jest s'posed to tell yeh that Master Dragon come home early, and he done brought cump'ny!" 

            Hermione groaned.

            "It's not the Shaw's again, is it?" she asked.

            "No ma'am, it's somebody new. Liza say his name Snake, er ., somthin like that."

            "Snake? Sounds pleasant." 

            With a forced smile, Hermione made her way back to the house to meet her fiancé and his guest.

            ********

            "She's not going to recognize you, you know." 

            Hermione could hear Draco's voice coming from the entrance hall.  

            "I just need to see that she's okay. Then I'll leave." A weary, yet determined voice replied.

            "She might not…. Hermione! There you are, we've been waiting." 

            Hermione leaned over to allow her fiancé to kiss her cheek, her eyes never straying from the visitor.

            He was tall, graying, and slightly handsome in a dark, mysterious way.  His hair looked like it could do with a good washing, but it was his eyes that had her mesmerized.  Two bottomless pools of black, that were filled with pain, longing, love…….

            "This is Professor Severus Snape.  He was the Potions teacher at the school we attended." Draco offered, watching her very closely.

            "It's nice to meet you, Professor." Hermione said, holding out her hand.

            Any spark that may have been in his eyes faded at her words.  For an instant a look of utter despair flickered across his face, but was gone so quickly, she wondered if it had been there at all.

            "And you, Miss Granger." 

            His voice was strong and steady, but his hands were clammy and shaking as they briefly closed over her own.

            "He'll be staying with us while he's in town…." Draco trailed off, unsure.

            "On business. That is, if you don't mind." Prof. Snape's voice now sounded a bit husky, as if he were fighting back tears.

            "Of course not! You're welcome to stay here as long as you need." Hermione reassured him.

            He gave her a small, sad smile.

            Draco watched the exchange with a slight pout, but if Hermione noticed this, she said nothing.

            "Forgive me Professor, but you look rather exhausted.  Perhaps you'd like to rest up before dinner?" Hermione asked.

            "That would be nice, Thank you." Severus replied, and then followed Hermione as she led him to his room.

            "I'll see you at dinner, Professor." Draco called out after them.

            Hermione was talking about some of the paintings on the walls as they passed them.  Severus, however, couldn't pay attention as he stared at the woman ahead of him.  His eyes watched her every movement.

            "This will be your room." 

            Severus bumped into her as she stopped abruptly.  He grabbed her arm to steady her and Hermione turned to face him.  Their lips were only a few inches apart.  Time seemed to stop as the two of them stood there like that.  Staring into each others eyes.  Severus swore he saw flash of recognition in those hazel orbs.

            "Professor?" Her voice was a hoarse whisper.

            "Yes?" 

            "Are you…. Never mind." 

            She quickly stepped back and began to leave.

            "Wait!" he called.

            She stopped but did not turn around.

            "What were you going to ask?"

            "I just wanted to know whether or not you were planning on staying for the wedding." She said.

            "Wedding?"

            "Next month." She turned back to face him now, her cheeks turning slightly pink.

            "I'd be glad to." He said after a slight pause.

            "Dinner is at seven."

            She left him to get settled.


	10. Chapter Nine: The Agreement

A/N: Yea! I'm on time this week. 

Chapter Nine: The Agreement 

            Hermione felt butterflies in her stomach as she soared over the smoking ruins of Azkaban in a daze.  Harry's fingernails bit into her side as he struggled to keep her on his broom.  She closed her eyes to allow the nausea to pass, and when she opened them again, it was to find herself in Professor Snape's lap.

********

            Hermione sat up in her bed, sweat dotting her brow.  She sat for several minutes trying to remember her dream, knowing that it was important.  But after awhile, the only thought on her mind was getting a glass of water to wet her dry mouth.

            On her way to the kitchen, she heard muffled arguing coming from her library.  The door was barely open, and Hermione peeked through the crack, curious as to why Draco and Professor Snape were up so late.

            "How could you just lie to her like that?" Severus demanded through clenched teeth.

            "I promised…" Draco began very calmly.

            "If you really love her, how can you treat her like this?" Severus interrupted.

            "I told you! I didn't do anything to her." Draco could no longer keep the annoyance from creeping into his voice.

            "Snape, if you care about her at all, you'll leave and never come back!"

            "Not until she knows the truth!"

            "This is what she wanted! Leave her alone, she's happy!" Draco pleaded.

            "Happy?! Look around you, Malfoy!" He gestured toward the books on amnesia and memory suppression that still littered her desk.

            "Hermione needs answers!"

            "I swore I wouldn't tell her." Draco sighed and shook his head.

            "I won't tell her.  Tomorrow I have to go to Savannah to take care of some business.  I'll be back Thursday evening.  That'll give you three days to say whatever you need to say to her. After that, we let her decide what she wants to do. No interfering, agreed?"

            "Agreed."

********

            After Draco left, Hermione and Severus decided to eat brunch outside in Hermione's favorite garden.  The morning was only warm, and the sun was thankfully hidden behind the fluffy white clouds.

            They made small talk while nibbling on fresh peaches and sipping iced tea, but then Hermione revealed that she had heard some of the conversation last night, and expected Severus to start explaining himself.

            Severus decided to start by telling Hermione of their time at Hogwarts together.  Hermione listened intently, frowning when he described how much they despised each other, and nodding as he described her relationship with Harry and Ron.  

            "In my dreams I sometimes see flashes of two boys that look as you described Harry and Ron."

            They sat in silence for a moment.

            "They're both dead, aren't they?" she whispered.

            "Ron is, but Harry is alive and well. In fact, he and Ron's younger sister just got married." 

            More silence.

            "Ginny?" She asked, unsure.

            "That's correct. Are you beginning to remember?" Severus felt his heart skip a beat.

            Hermione's sigh was much too heavy for someone as young as she was.

            "The memories I have are like memories from dreams. Clouded and incomplete with gaps of nothingness." She tried to explain.

            Severus nodded in understanding.

            "Obliviate can do that to you."

            The next question was expected, the pain behind it, was not.

            "Did Draco do this to me?" The question was barely audible, as if Hermione was afraid of what the answer would be.

            For one selfish moment Severus almost lied to her.  Maybe he was a better man than he thought.

            "No, Hermione. You did."

********

A/N: I know, I know! I'm just living up to my name as the Queen of Cliffhangers! More will come soon, I promise. And I have finally thought up an end. (We'll see!) 


	11. Chapter Ten: Decisions

A/N: Two in one night! I'm so proud!

Chapter Ten: Decisions

            "A lot happened that night. You watched several people you care about lose their lives in the battle. You, yourself had suffered several injuries. Then Draco came and took you away from us. He offered you a whole new life. But the only way you could accept it, was to forget the past."

            Severus paused to take a drink.

            "You made Draco promise to let you forget, and not tell you the truth no matter how bad you wanted to know. He watched you obliviate your memories.  He only told you what you had asked him to. Except for the engaged part." 

            Hermione was so busy trying to process everything Severus had just told her, and so she missed the jealousy that was written all over his face.

            She stood up abruptly and tuned her back on him.

            "I need to be alone for a while." She said.

            "Of course." 

            He watched her walk back to the house, hoping that he'd done the right thing.

********

            Two days later, Hermione still sat in her locked room. She had long since ran out of tears to cry, and didn't know how much more pain she could endure.  Still, the memories she did have, didn't seem real to her.  She wondered if they ever would.

            "Miz Mya?" called a tentative voice from the door.

            "What is it Jennie?" she snapped.

            Jennie slammed the door and marched into the room.

            "Misteh Snake say not to bring you supper up here tonite.  He say if you hungry, you go down and eat wit him. And I thinks he's right! You can't stay up here fo'ever!" 

            The little elf had her hands on her hips, a threatening look in her eyes.

            "Well, Jennie! I know that you know the whole story. Why don't you tell me what I should do, huh? You seem to be the authority on everything that goes on in this house." Hermione gave the elf her most threatening glare. 

            Jennie just gave her a wide grin.

            "Why Miz Mya, I so glad you asked! You knows I don like dat Misteh Dragon. He tried to treat us elves like we enslaved or somthin! He knows good and well that all creatures in America are free…"

            "Yes Jennie, we've already had this discussion." Hermione had to stifle a grin at the indignant sputter Jennie made at being interrupted.

            "As I's wuz sayin! I likes how Misteh Snake thinks. And I thinks you need to be nicer to dat man. He de only one dat tells you the truth."

            "So what should I do? Draco loves me! We're to be married next month!"

            "You don luv Dragon! And I sees how Snake looks at you!" A knowing twinkle in her eye.

            "You think I should leave Draco for Severus?"  

            The memory of their near-kiss in the hallway a few days ago sent a delicious shiver up Hermione's spine.

            "He was my teacher, Jennie! My least favorite one at that!" Hermione argued.

            "Den why he here now? Why he so sure you need to know da truth?"

            Hermione just rolled her eyes, but she had to admit that Jennie had a point.

********

            Severus sat in the library completely ignoring the open book in his lap.  Tonight was it.  Draco would come home, and Hermione would have to make her decision. He had felt much more confident two days ago after him and Hermione's first discussion.  She hadn't spoken to him since.  It did nothing for his fragile self-confidence.

            Severus' gloomy contemplations were suddenly interrupted by Hermione rushing into the room.

            "Why?" she demanded. 

            After getting over the initial shock at seeing her, he realized he didn't need to ask what she was talking about.

            "Let me tell you a story..." 

            He gestured for her to sit in the chair opposite him.

            "Almost ten years ago, there was a young girl in my potions class. She had bushy brown hair and a know-it-all attitude that irritated the hell out of me. As a Spy for Dumbledore, I knew my time was short, and that I could be found out at any moment. I remember looking at young Harry Potter as he tried to make the difficult potion of the day.  I felt a pang at knowing that soon, I would be unable to watch after him. He would probably always hate me, but maybe I had prepared him just a little for what he would eventually have to face."

            Hermione hung on his every word.

            "And then I saw that little know-it-all watching me. And the look on her face said that she knew exactly what I had been thinking. It scared me so bad; I took twenty points off her house for something I knew she didn't do. But the girl didn't say anything. Just kept looking at me like I had suddenly become her hero. When the class finally ended, she stayed behind.  I did my best to ignore her. She came up to my desk and said, 'thank you'."

            "I asked her why she was thanking me, and she said it was for everything I was doing. You see, she knew that I was a spy, and she honestly wanted me to know that she appreciated the work I was doing. I tried to say something to make her hate me again, but then she did something so unexpected, I could do nothing but stare at her. She kissed me, right here."

            He raised a hand to his left temple.

            Hermione lowered her eyes to the floor.

            "That was the last time I saw her, before the final battle.  I spent the next nine years in Azkaban; the memory of that kiss was the only thing that kept me sane. Hermione, when I got out, I had to make sure that you were ok. For you are the only reason that I am sitting here today."

            Hermione wiped at her eyes as they both stood up. 

            She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him close.  Then she pulled his head down to kiss his temple.

            "Thank you for finding me." She whispered.

            She stepped away from him.

            "But I have no memory of that kiss."

            She took a deep breath.

            "You have done more than enough, Severus. And you'll always have a special place in my heart. Next month I will become Mrs. Malfoy, and you should get on with your life knowing that I am safe and happy."

            "Hermione?"

            She looked away at the hurt and betrayal his eyes screamed at her.

            The emotions took over him, and he pulled her roughly against him.  Hermione didn't struggle, but allowed his hungry mouth to claim her's with a passion she was unfamiliar with.

            He abruptly pushed her away, his eyes bright with unshed tears.

            "So be it."

            And he was gone.

********


	12. Chapter Eleven: In Her Own Words

Chapter Eleven: In Her Own Words 

            Severus stared out the window of his room in Harry's house.  One more week until Hermione and Draco would marry.

            His sigh was so despairing, it caused Crookshanks to come out from under the bed and rub against Severus' legs in comfort.  The cat was finally forgiving him for returning home with Hermione's scent, but not Hermione herself.

             Severus scooped up the cat, and began absently stroking it.

            What right did he have to her anyway?  

            Severus sneered at the diary lying on the bedside table.  A school girl crush was all it was.  Every girl falls for a teacher!  Why she had chosen him was a mystery, but her choice was the only unusual thing about it.  

            He'd found her.  She was safe, and happy.  That should be all that he needed.  That would be all that he'd get.

            Severus was so lost in his depressing thoughts he almost didn't hear Remus come in the room.  Almost.

            "Was there something you wanted, or do you plan on standing there all night." He said this in the harshest voice he could manage, but that wasn't saying much.

            "You've been awfully quiet since you returned." Remus commented.

            Remus and Sirius had been staying with Severus the past few days.  Severus knew that Molly had put them up to it, and he'd been quite annoyed by their presence.  But, as it was not his house, he had had to put up with them.  Avoidance was the key to toleration.

            Upon receiving no answer, Remus continued, "Molly seems to be under the impression that you were searching for Hermione."

            Severus flinched at hearing her name.

            "What I don't understand, is why? I don't remember you being all that close to her. In fact I remember specific times that both of you have come to me complaining about the other."

            Severus sighed another heavy sigh before walking over to the diary.  He dropped the cat on the bed, and picked up the small book.

            "Here are at least some of the answers to your questions.  The rest will have to wait for morning."

            He handed the diary over, and turned his back on the werewolf in dismissal.

            Remus gave him one last curios look before leaving the room.

            Severus went to the dresser and picked up a small vial containing a dreamless sleep potion.  It had been too long since he'd had a good night sleep. 

            He toasted the empty room and drained the vial.

********

            Remus and Sirius sat across from each other in silence.  The diary had been read by both, and was now lying on the table between them.  

            Its' very presence had changed everything.  Hermione had been in love with Severus.  The very idea was so ludicrous, and yet so utterly romantic, it couldn't not be real.

            "Do you think he found her?" Sirius rough voice broke the silence.

            Remus shook his head.

            "I have no idea."

********

            It was a magnificent breakfast that had been laid out on the dining room table.  However, the three men who it had been prepared for had long since lost interest.

            Severus leaned back in his chair with a tired sigh.  He looked at the two men he had come to know as friends and felt a smile tug at his lips.  Their faces held expressions of shock, rage, and sympathy as his story began to sink in.  

            Severus had to admit that it felt good to be able to share his experience.  At least now they'd stop asking him if something was wrong every five minutes.  

            Sirius was clearly upset.

            "What? Doesn't she want to see all of her friends again?  Her home? Isn't she the least bit curious about everything that she's giving up?!" 

            "She doesn't remember any of it.  Any of us." Severus said in her defense.

            "Yes, but you told her…" 

            "We can tell her things 'till we're blue in the face! She's not going to accept them. She has to remember them on her own, and there is no way she can do that while on the other side of the world." Severus dropped his head onto the table.

            Remus, who had been very quiet, suddenly spoke up.

            "Maybe she'll accept what was written by her own hand." He suggested, holding up the diary.

            There was a moment of tense silence.

            Then, with a loud swear, Severus leaped up from the table, snatched the diary out of Remus' hand, and rushed from the room.

            The two men could hear him calling for Hedwig as he made his way to the library.

            Remus gave Sirius' hand an affection squeeze.

            "This story may have a happy ending yet."

********

            Jennie looked up from her knitting to see a large white owl swoop in through the open window.  A small package was attached to its' leg. 

            It was for Hermione. Excitement coursed through her as she realized it was probably from Snape.

            But as she turned to take it to her mistress, she ran straight into Draco.

            "I'll take that." 

            He snatched the package from her hands, and quickly opened it.

            An angry sneer crossed his face as he read the note. 

            Draco ordered the elf to leave the room, and turned toward the fire…..

********

A/N: I know, I'm sooooo evil! But the next part will be the last, so I had to make this one a really good cliff-hanger! I promise to hurry with the last bit!


	13. Chapter Eleven: In Her Own Words

Chapter Eleven: In Her Own Words 

            Severus stared out the window of his room in Harry's house.  One more week until Hermione and Draco would marry.

            His sigh was so despairing, it caused Crookshanks to come out from under the bed and rub against Severus' legs in comfort.  The cat was finally forgiving him for returning home with Hermione's scent, but not Hermione herself.

             Severus scooped up the cat, and began absently stroking it.

            What right did he have to her anyway?  

            Severus sneered at the diary lying on the bedside table.  A school girl crush was all it was.  Every girl falls for a teacher!  Why she had chosen him was a mystery, but her choice was the only unusual thing about it.  

            He'd found her.  She was safe, and happy.  That should be all that he needed.  That would be all that he'd get.

            Severus was so lost in his depressing thoughts he almost didn't hear Remus come in the room.  Almost.

            "Was there something you wanted, or do you plan on standing there all night." He said this in the harshest voice he could manage, but that wasn't saying much.

            "You've been awfully quiet since you returned." Remus commented.

            Remus and Sirius had been staying with Severus the past few days.  Severus knew that Molly had put them up to it, and he'd been quite annoyed by their presence.  But, as it was not his house, he had had to put up with them.  Avoidance was the key to toleration.

            Upon receiving no answer, Remus continued, "Molly seems to be under the impression that you were searching for Hermione."

            Severus flinched at hearing her name.

            "What I don't understand, is why? I don't remember you being all that close to her. In fact I remember specific times that both of you have come to me complaining about the other."

            Severus sighed another heavy sigh before walking over to the diary.  He dropped the cat on the bed, and picked up the small book.

            "Here are at least some of the answers to your questions.  The rest will have to wait for morning."

            He handed the diary over, and turned his back on the werewolf in dismissal.

            Remus gave him one last curios look before leaving the room.

            Severus went to the dresser and picked up a small vial containing a dreamless sleep potion.  It had been too long since he'd had a good night sleep. 

            He toasted the empty room and drained the vial.

********

            Remus and Sirius sat across from each other in silence.  The diary had been read by both, and was now lying on the table between them.  

            Its' very presence had changed everything.  Hermione had been in love with Severus.  The very idea was so ludicrous, and yet so utterly romantic, it couldn't not be real.

            "Do you think he found her?" Sirius rough voice broke the silence.

            Remus shook his head.

            "I have no idea."

********

            It was a magnificent breakfast that had been laid out on the dining room table.  However, the three men who it had been prepared for had long since lost interest.

            Severus leaned back in his chair with a tired sigh.  He looked at the two men he had come to know as friends and felt a smile tug at his lips.  Their faces held expressions of shock, rage, and sympathy as his story began to sink in.  

            Severus had to admit that it felt good to be able to share his experience.  At least now they'd stop asking him if something was wrong every five minutes.  

            Sirius was clearly upset.

            "What? Doesn't she want to see all of her friends again?  Her home? Isn't she the least bit curious about everything that she's giving up?!" 

            "She doesn't remember any of it.  Any of us." Severus said in her defense.

            "Yes, but you told her…" 

            "We can tell her things 'till we're blue in the face! She's not going to accept them. She has to remember them on her own, and there is no way she can do that while on the other side of the world." Severus dropped his head onto the table.

            Remus, who had been very quiet, suddenly spoke up.

            "Maybe she'll accept what was written by her own hand." He suggested, holding up the diary.

            There was a moment of tense silence.

            Then, with a loud swear, Severus leaped up from the table, snatched the diary out of Remus' hand, and rushed from the room.

            The two men could hear him calling for Hedwig as he made his way to the library.

            Remus gave Sirius' hand an affection squeeze.

            "This story may have a happy ending yet."

********

            Jennie looked up from her knitting to see a large white owl swoop in through the open window.  A small package was attached to its' leg. 

            It was for Hermione. Excitement coursed through her as she realized it was probably from Snape.

            But as she turned to take it to her mistress, she ran straight into Draco.

            "I'll take that." 

            He snatched the package from her hands, and quickly opened it.

            An angry sneer crossed his face as he read the note. 

            Draco ordered the elf to leave the room, and turned toward the fire…..

********

A/N: I know, I'm sooooo evil! But the next part will be the last, so I had to make this one a really good cliff-hanger! I promise to hurry with the last bit!


	14. Chapter Twelve: I'll Always Love You

Chapter Twelve: I'll Always Love You

_Friday __5:01pm___

            "This is it." Severus muttered to himself as he sat down on 'the bench'.

            In his mind, he was re-reading the letter he had sent to Hermione along with her diary.

            _Dearest Hermione, _

_            I know I promised not to bother you ever again, but you will soon understand why I had to try one last time.  Here is your memory back, in your own handwriting.  Once you know the truth, I hope that you will reconsider this union with Malfoy.  If not for me, then for the life you're so ready to throw away._

_            I'll be waiting on the green bench, just outside the AAP, (__Atlanta__ Apparating Platform) at __5pm__ this Friday.  If you're not there, I'll assume that you want to sever all contacts with your old life forever.  I swear to respect your wishes.  However, if you've changed your mind about Malfoy, then come to me and I'll take you home._

_            Whatever you decide, know that I'll always love you._

_            Eternally Yours, _

_            Severus_

            Severus looked up at the large clock hanging above the platform.  It was already 5:15pm, and no Hermione.  She had never been even a second late for anything her in life.  Hermione must not be coming.

            What was left of his heart seemed to shatter as he thought those words.  He stood and started to walk away, not sure where he'd go now, when he heard a voice call his name.

            "Severus?!"

            He came to a dead stop.  It couldn't be!

            "Severus, WAIT!" Hermione yelled as loud as she could.

            Severus turned around, and watched her running toward him.  Her hair was wild, and there were tears streaming down her cheeks.  He opened his arms to her.  

            It seemed like forever before Hermione finally reached him, her fist connecting with his nose.

            Then she collapsed in his arms, sobbing.

********

_3 Days Earlier_

_            Hermione was standing in front of her mirror running a brush through her long brown hair.  Her stomach was in knots as she thought about what she had to do.  Draco wasn't making it easy.  He was being so sweet, too sweet.  This morning she had awoken to find a rose on her pillow, and a note saying that in three days she would make him the happiest man on Earth._

            This was going to crush him.

            Ever since Severus had kissed her, and disappeared, she had thought of nothing else.  Hermione was going to tell Draco tonight, that she wanted to go home.  He could come with her, or stay here, but she would not be marrying him on Friday.

            Hermione was practicing a conversation with the mirror, who was having way too much fun pretending to be Draco, when the door to her room was flung open so hard it left a dent in the wall.

            "Jennie! What is the meaning of this?" Hermione demanded, more startled than angry.

            "Miz Mya! Misteh Snake send you a package, an Misteh Dragon gonna burn it!" the elf panted.

            Hermione ran to Draco's study as fast as she could, her fury growing with every step.

            Her hand was shaking as she banged the door open, doing a very good impression of Jennie.

            "Draco Malfoy what the hell do you think you're do-" Hermione stopped when she saw his face.

            It was wet with tears.

            "Hermione, I had know idea you loved him so much. No wonder he came after you."

            Hermione pulled him into her arms, and he sobbed into her breast.

            "I'm so sorry, Draco. But I can't marry you."

            "I know."

********

            Hermione had read her diary, and Severus' note, several times since that night.  At first she was angry, and in denial.  She almost had convinced herself that Severus had written it himself, but then she started to remember things.  It wasn't actual events so much as the feelings behind them that had started coming back to her. 

            Now she realized that she could never love anyone else the way she did Severus.  With that realization came relief and a feeling of contentment that she had never felt before.  

            It wasn't until she had reached the AAP, that she remembered something else about herself.  She looked in dismay at the benches, knowing that each was a different color. Two of them were the same color, but only to her.  Unfortunately, you could not see one bench from the other.

            She began asking people around her which bench was the green one, but they all gave her odd looks and walked away.

********

_Friday __5:17pm___

_            Hermione had been crying in Severus' arms for two full minutes, before he finally realized what had upset her._

            An almost forgotten memory flashed through his mind……

********

_The beginning of Hermione's Fifth year, in Potions_

            "When you reach this step, your potion should turn either red, or green.  If it's red you add only one drop of dragon's blood.  Green, add four drops of dragon's blood. Do you have that Mr. Longbottom? I would be more than happy to repeat that for you if you need it." 

            The Slytherins snickered, but Snape gave them a silencing look.

            "This is a very dangerous potion, students! If you're unsure about something, ask Miss Granger.   I do not want my classroom blown up, is that clear?!" 

"Y-yes sir." Neville whimpered.

            The class was shocked.  Snape had actually given Hermione permission to help Neville!  This potion must be serious stuff.

            With Hermione freely helping Neville, Severus had felt much better about giving extra assistance to the Slytherins, and pretty much turned his back on the Gryffindor side of the classroom.

            When the potions began to enter the dragon's blood phase, Severus sneaked a glance at Neville and Hermione's work bench.  What he saw made him do a double take.

            Hermione was anxiously glancing back and forth between her and Neville's cauldrons, clearly unsure of what to do. 

            "What do you mean they look the same? They're two different colors!" Severus heard Neville say to her. 

            Her face drained of all it's color, and then she looked up to see him watching her.

            Her eyes widened with fear and she looked away, dabbing at them.

            Hermione was crying?  It suddenly occurred to Severus what the problem was, and he, for once in his teaching career, gave mercy to a student.

            "Mr. Longbottom, be sure you only put in one drop, as your potion is red, and Miss Granger's is green."

            Hermione had sent him a grateful look, but he'd just sneered at her and turned back to Crabbe and Goyle.

            Even then, she had brought out something in him he didn't think existed anymore.

********

_Friday 518pm_

_            Hermione calmed down enough to hear Severus' apology. _

            "I'm so sorry, luv! I forgot you were red/green color-blind." 

            Severus and Hermione started at each other for several seconds, before the laughter started.

            "We're hopeless, Severus!" Hermione gasped out between giggles.

            He laughed harder in response.

            "Maybe from now on we can be hopeless together?" she asked, and they both sobered.

            "I take it you decided against marrying Malfoy?"  His face was impassive, but his eyes were sparkling with happiness.

            "After that kiss? How could I be with anyone else?"

            "Ah, yes. That kiss.  How did it go again?"

            And they relived their kiss to thunderous applause from all around them.

            It seemed that everyone at the AAP had stopped to watch their reunion.

            Hermione blushed, but spoke firmly, "Severus, take me home."

********

            Epilogue

            _Dear Diary, _

_            Last night I asked Severus when it was that he first fell in love with me.  He said it was the night Voldemorte was destroyed.  He was seeing me for the first time in nine years, and, thanks to some very powerful memory potions, I remember that moment as well.  It's funny, I remember thinking then, that it was all over. I had accomplished what I'd set out to do in the first place. I had no idea of what still awaited me in the coming months. _

_            It's hard to believe that I've been Mrs. Severus Snape for almost a year now.  Teaching Potions at Hogwarts, while he teaches Defense against the Dark Arts, is a dream job for both of us.  Even if it means answering to Fred and George Weasley._

_            Tomorrow is the start of the summer holidays, and Severus and I are going to spend them at Sadie. Draco gave the property to me as a wedding present, before he left for some other part of the world.  I get postcards from him every now and then, and he sounds happy enough. _

_            Harry, Ginny and their twin boys, Ronald and Albus, will be staying with us for a few weeks. 'Uncle Severus' even mentioned taking the kids down to Disney World. Jennie is anxiously awaiting our return. I offered her a position here at Hogwarts, but she insists that while she may be fond of us, she's much fonder of her freedom. I can't say I blame her._

_            Well, Severus is calling me to bed so I'd better go.  _

_            When I woke up next to him this morning, I didn't think I could ever be happier._

_            I was wrong.  _

_            This afternoon Poppy told me that I'm pregnant._

_            Life just keeps getting better…_

_            Yours, _

_            Hermione_

The End!

A/N: Finished yeah!! I really hope that everyone enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it. Huge thank yous to all of my reviewers, you guys are what makes this so much fun! And I am so sorry about double posting last time; I swear that was completely unintentional! 

Now that I've finished my first HP fic, there are two things I'd like opinions on.

#1        I'm about to start on my second HP fic, and yes, it will be another HG/SS.  

Title: It's Just One of Those Days

            It's another Hermione goes back in time…, wait! Where are you going? I know! It's been done a thousand times over, but I guarantee that mine will be completely different from any time-fic that you've ever read. VBEG

            So, I challenge you to read it…, well first I need someone who will beta, and can help me with time-line questions, then I challenge you to read it ! Look for part one next weekend.

#2        I've been toying with the idea to write a prequel to this story. It would center on Harry and Ginny, and would be about how Voldemorte came to power and the specifics of how he was defeated. What do you think, should I do it?  Just think of all the Dumbledore training the Weasley twins I could do! ;-) 


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